Robbie Burns Day

One response to “Robbie Burns Day

  1. Ohhh huey - that thar wuz ripe!

    OH Happy Burns day to all my fellow Scot’s!

    Tae A Fart

    Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
    Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
    As ye sit doon amongst yer kin
    There sterts tae stir an enormous win’

    The neeps an’ tatties an’ mushy peas
    Stert workin’ like a gentle breeze
    But soon the puddin’ wi’ the sonsie face
    Will have ye blawin’ a’ ower the place.

    Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
    A’body’s gonnae hae tae pay
    Even if ye try tae stifle
    It’s like a bullet oot o’ a rifle

    Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
    Tae try an’ stop the leakin’ air
    Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
    Pray tae God it disnae reek.

    But aw yer efforts gan asunder
    Oot it comes like a clap o’ thunder
    Ricochets aroon’ the room
    Michty me! A sonic boom

    God Almichty, it fairly reeks!
    Hope I huvnae s**t ma breeks!
    Tae the bog ah’d better scurry,
    Ach, whit the hell, it’s no ma worry.

    A’body roon aboot me chokin’
    Yin or twa were nearly boakin’
    I’ll feel better for a while
    Cannae help but raise a smile.

    Wis him! I shout with accusin’ glower,
    Alas! Too late! He’s just keeled ower
    Ye dirty bugger, they shout and stare
    A didnae feel welcome ony mair

    Where e’r ye be let yer wind gan free
    Sounds like just the job for me
    Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s party
    Ower the sake o’ one wee farty.

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