To the editors of the National Post:
I read Kate McMillan’s column yesterday and I was somewhat disappointed. Kate has proposed that what this country really needs is a famine. But what is a famine really? I mean the Great Depression was really only a few degrees away from a famine and all these old people these days, they don’t stop whining. I’m very disappointed by Kate’s half-measures. What we really need is a complete and utter post-apocalyptic social breakdown, like in The Road.
The characters in that book aren’t a bunch sissies looking for government regulations to explain stuff for them. If someone causes them trouble, do they call the police? Of course not! There aren’t any! Instead they use some individual initiative and a sidearm to solve their problems. Nothing toughens people up like knowing that there are roving gangs of cannibals and death cults everywhere. And really, what’s a roving gang of cannibals but a mixture of hunger and a bit of entrepreneurial spirit?
I eagerly look forward to you publishing this, National Post. If you aren’t interested in this work, I can also try to come up with some tasteless Holocaust pranks.