Friendly Advice to Caledonia Residents

Nice of you folks to come to Toronto, our tourism industry can use all the help it can get. Unfortunately, you made a bit of a faux pas. You see, driving slow on our roads is not a way to earn our sympathy. We understand your pain, really we do. I mean you’re caught between the feds and the Six Nations in a dispute that, while legitimate, must make daily life a mess. Worse yet, you have out of town professional village idiots like Gary McHale coming down to stir things up.

Anyway, we in Toronto don’t really get sympathetic to slow driving on highways during the middle of the week. The impression that it gives is that you are unemployed (why not on Saturday?) jerks who like to piss off commuters. It’s probably not the impression you wanted to create, but we can’t help thinking that way. I don’t care if the Six Nations did it to you, it didn’t exactly make you sympathetic to them, so don’t expect that result from us.

Toronto is not a government town really. Yeah the parliament is here, but there’s so many other things going on that frankly we sometimes forget. In that way it just seems like “here’s another bunch of out-of-town jerks pissing us off to make a point to Dalton.” There’s not a great swath of civil servants here (proportionate to those employed in other sectors) so it’s not as though they carry your message into their place of work.

The same thing goes for sundry farmers’ groups that show up here. Making us late for work, or to get home from work, does not make us sympathetic. We understand that you have legitimate grievances, so do we, but we don’t drive our cars all over your towns and snarl traffic.

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